How I miss Thee my Quirky Albuquerque

A list of a few things I miss about the strange city we call Albuquerque:

The way the dust rolls over your well traveled highways. *sarcasm*
How your colors paint the sky and your clouds form in shifting shapes.
Chick-fil-A and Lotaburger.
The lavender bushes that dot the landscape like freckles on a ginger kid's face. ;)
Tramway.
Paseo-del-Norte.
Flying Star dates with my girl friends.
Making friends with the Flying Star workers because we're there so often.
The mountains and hiking.
Red or green? To which I reply with slight fear, "Neither, thank you".
Frontier.
That Greek restaurant we discovered on campus just before coming.
The bosque.
Uptown and checking sales at The Loft.
Living in 4 Hills. (Where we won't be returning.)
Parties at our house.
Lack of humidity.
Olo.
My family.

How I miss Thee my Quirky Albuquerque!

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I had always felt that the way I was raised and the way I ticked insinuated that I belonged overseas somewhere. Now that I'm here, in some ways I feel that more and more. There are so many things I absolutely love about being here. Public transportation, for one is initially somewhat terrifying, but the system is easy to figure out and when you have it down the whole world is opened up to you. Secondly, fresh, unprocessed, yummy, delicious produce, purchased a couple times a week from the grocery is delightful. I mean fresh baguettes--heck yes. And then there's a whole conglomeration of peoples and people groups in one area the size of a state in the ...States. Architecture! How could I forget architecture and language...

Yet, though my heart is so full here, I feel a tinge of longing. I have a longing for the far away familiar and for those whom I love: my family and the community that I left in Albuquerque. For the silly things that I listed above. Something tells me, though, that when I'm home my heart will miss once again the things that became familiar but will then be far away.

A post that my friend recently wrote touched my heart. My heart feels similarly to what hers has so beautifully communicated. In many ways it feels torn in two; torn between two realities and two ways of life. It's as though my heart has become two dots on opposite sides on the map of the world.

I'm learning more fully that when something is chosen and a path is taken, there *is* sacrifice. There are things that I am going to miss. Since I've been here in Belgium I've missed having Easter with my family, my Dad's birthday, Mother's Day, my brother getting his driver's license, one of my best friends will be moving with her new husband to a different state, I haven't been there with a best friend during a tragedy, and there's major change going on in our college ministry where both Katina and I are on the leadership team. So yeah, while I am here in Europe getting to see things I'd only before dreamed of (and really, let's be honest, Belgium had never before entered my mind as somewhere I would go) I am missing some major life and relational events.

This all may end up being slightly exaggerated. I have found that God has enabled me to be fairly adaptable in whatever climate He places me. But I do feel that wherever I am, there will be a slight longing to be in the other place on the map.

I don't want to go too deeply into it at this time and I apologize slightly that this is turning into yet another spiritual metaphor, but I can't help but ponder our "now and not yet" motto when considering these things.  All these longings, unfulfilled desires, and the imperfections of the life we live are a reminder that we've not yet reached perfection. There's always going to be that feeling that something isn't complete. Because it's not. It's in the process of being completed. Our salvation  in Christ is complete and still in completion. There is an end to our story but still the plot thickens. God's given us guidelines through His Word about what pleases Him and how to live life, but where do I live out that life and what exactly do I pursue?

I told Rebecca that I feel like there have been so many more desires awakened and realized while we've been here, but they've led to even more questions and fewer answers. I'm sorry, I don't know if that flows well or stays directly on topic, it's just where my thoughts happened to go. We're leaving Belgium in 3 weeks and coming home in 5. Right now, in many ways I can't wait to be home, but I anticipate my heart wanting to return once I've come home. You see my conundrum? Rebecca answered with a smile that the Lord often does that. "He's not a reluctant revealer." He does desire for us to know His steps, but even more so, His desire is for us to seek HIS face.

At the core of all these longings and desires: to be in one place while I'm in the other and vise versa, is the need to be satisfied in where God has placed me. His sovereignty intertwines with His goodness and His love toward me. When I am exactly where I need to be, where I've sought His face and am not against His will prescribed for me in His Word, when I'm honoring Him with what He's given me and am seeking His face, I can rest securely in His immutability. (Thank you Tozer.) He never changes! And in Him, all is complete!

"I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul makes it's boast in the Lord;

let the humble hear and be glad.

Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us 

exalt His name together!

I sought the Lord, and He answered me

and delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to Him are radiant

and their faces shall never be ashamed.

This poor man cried, and the Lord him

and saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around 

those who fear Him and delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!

Blessed is the man who takes 

refuge in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints,

for those who fear Him have no lack!

The young lions suffer want and hunger;

but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."

Psalm 34:1-10

Villers-la-Ville

Thursday, May 3rd was an epic day off. Hava Flave invited me to her school for lunch where we dined on Belgium's Panera Bread cousin and she gave me a quick tour of Louvain-la-Neuve. After a quick coffee and tea, she headed to class and I headed back from whence I came - the train station - to continue my adventurous day off. Off to the delights of Villers-la-Ville. 

Ready for a day of adventure

I took the train to Ottignies, got off and boarded another train to Villers-la-Ville. Once there I roamed around attempting to find signs telling me where to go. Ha! What good are signs that don't exist when you can wander around and see the lovely village and try to find someone who speaks English who can give you directions??? 

The train stop without a station...

At the intersection next to the tracks I chose to go right

And learned fairly quickly that I should've gone left. 

I  found someone who spoke English (ya gotta look for the youngsters) and was able to get directions from her and was on my way to the abbey. 

*****

In case you're wondering:

Abbaye de Villers is the ancient ruins of a Cistercian Abbey founded in 1146 A.D.  For a time-line of the history of Abbaye de Villers click on this link. Or click this link for more information. Even Wikipedia provides an further info that is interesting. So far these web-sites provide the extent of my knowledge of the place. There have been a few books written about Villers-la-Ville...but they're in French. 

*****

I've always been insanely curious about all things that are very old. I love the personal aspect about history. I think most people's view of history is that it's dull and boring, but the fact that actual souls lived out these lives in often different manners than we live today is fascinating to me. I love to imagine and picture what lives were like, and yes, I suppose I romanticize their lives to a certain degree. 

As a child growing up, when driving from one side of Oklahoma to the other, or when going on long family road trips, I always wanted to stop in the ghost towns that were just off the nicely paved roads that we traveled. I don't think I ever voiced these desires, but when sitting in the back or middle red upholstered seats of our black Suburban, I looked off in wonder at those dilapidated buildings as they flew beyond my vision, our Suburban carrying on to our intended destination. You can imagine then, since I was never able to physically be among those enticing ruins, what it might be like for me to have stood among the ruins in Villers-la-Ville.  

It was truly awe inspiring. Breath taking, even. 

Above is the abbot's palace.

Traditionally Cistercian architecture used only stone, 

but in the 1440's Abbaye de Villers started using brick.

There were several areas closed off by gates, deemed too dangerous to explore...

which of course makes them all the more enticing to me. Ugh. 

I love that in the picture above you can see what is left of what covered the brick and stone 

as well as some beautiful scroll work on top of the plaster.

Looooove this!

I believe this might be the square where the monks walked and prayed daily...not sure though.

And this is inside the sanctuary where the choir loft used to be.

I almost broke out in song, 

singing "Alas and did my Savior bleed and did my Sovereign die?", 

when someone else walked in and I kept my tune to myself. 

"The sacred vessels, vestments and books for worship were kept here, 

along with the relics held by the monastery (which were not on display). 

The storage niches can still be seen." 

Storage niches.

There was actually much more of the abbey to be seen, but I spent so much time just being there and soaking it all in that I didn't even realize that the property was much more extensive than what I was seeing. I was there for an hour and a half, but could have easily and contentedly spent two more. 

The atmosphere was incredibly peaceful. Before I left the house, Rebecca and Annie had said you can feel the prayers of the men on the grounds. I found that to be true. It does have a "sacred ground" feeling. I found myself thinking about that feeling on my walk back to the train. I didn't want to leave that peace. I wanted to feed on it and bask in it, however the Holy Spirit brought to mind that wherever He is, there is peace. I praise Him that the Lamb of God has made way for me to be in His temple always and forever. Man no longer needs a physical building to 'find' God. That peace doesn't have to only be found on the grounds of an old, forsaken abbey. That peace is found in Christ and through Him resides in me!