My Passion

The past couple weeks, among many other things, have been weeks of reflection. Before I came to Brussels to volunteer as a caregiver, I was working at Desert Springs Church as a secretary in the church's office. It's a job that I am so thankful for. No one in that office is perfect, but that's part of the beauty (and I believe everyone would tell you, sometimes the pain) of it. God has taught me so much by and through working in an office full of people who love Jesus and who work daily for His kingdom. As much as I've loved working there, and currently plan if the Lord wills to return there, I've discovered it's really not what I want to do with the rest of the life the Lord has planned for me to live.

My biggest passion and joy on this earth (besides Christ and Him crucified...may that truly be my One passion) thus far is music. I. Love. Music. I love to listen to it. I love to hear it. I love to sing it.I love to play it. There's a certain feeling one experiences when sitting at a piano, praying and playing; an emotion that just comes over me when the chords feel and flow right...it's almost as if I can feel the joy of the Lord is in and with me. I love that God has designed that His children praise Him through this marvelous act. Music was designed by Him and is meant to bring Him glory.

My entire life has been filled with music, whether it was through high school choir (sooo many good memories there!), youth choir at church, adult choir at church, singing with my sister, singing with The Well praise band, etc; I've always loved music. And though I've taken voice and piano lessons inconsistently throughout my entire life, it's never been my entire focus. I'd attempted to work toward going to college for music and though my efforts were well rewarded (I enjoyed college and was a good student)...it just wasn't meant to be at that time.

"The heart of man plans his way

but the Lord establishes his steps."

Proverbs 16:9

On the day of Rebecca's birthday, Katina and I met a wonderful lady. Rebecca was out with her husband for a fun birthday outing so Annie, Katina, and I were left at home to eat lunch together. We were warming left-overs when a woman walked in bearing a bundle of flowers. She'd come for Rebecca's party, thinking it was to be held that day, when in fact it would be on Friday. We invited her and her sweet granddaughter to stay for lunch or tea and she graciously accepted our invitation. Over lunch Katina and I found out that Anne, along with her husband founded a ministry called Creative Arts Europe. It's an organization that helps musicians, dancers...artists of all shapes and sizes excel in their talents. They've created a network of artists in Europe that come together with a common goal. One of the more active sides of their ministry is to host music/arts camps for children and teens across Europe. They have an upcoming camp in Finland. ---They even have a musical theater program!!!---I digress...

Something Anne said really resonated within my heart. Her husband likes to say that you can't love God or love people without using your gifts. For the past year, God's placed in my heart that I need to cultivate the gifts He's given me, and my heart continues to be drawn towards music (as well as something international, but I can't put my finger on it quite yet). I don't know what the next step is. 

Here are my thoughts:

• I don't necessarily want to go to college. Possibly, maybe, but not really. 

-I don't want to waste my time on other learning endeavors. I'm old enough that I now know what I want to focus on, and though well rounded educations are a great idea and I would really love to continue learning and growing, shaping and stretching my mind, I don't know that college is for me. Furthermore, I'm not sure I want to get the life sucked out of me by professors who couldn't care less what my motivation is to learning music as I want to use it as a means by which I give glory to someone other than myself.

• I'd love to go to a music/arts school. (But then the prior conundrum stated above comes into play.)
• I might need to focus solely on music.
• I don't know what to do.

There you have it. I've asked Anne for some suggestions and am waiting for her reply. 

I love that God gives us joy in what gives Him pleasure. I love that He rejoices when I love using what He's given me. Please pray with me that He would reveal exactly what is the next step. For though my own heart can plan my way it's truly God alone who's established my steps. 

Praying that He shows me His way.