The other day I think I drank enough tea to fill the Boston harbor. (Haha! History joke! ;) ...sigh) This is significant because, for one, I'm not really a tea drinker. Nor am I a coffee drinker. I've tried to be a coffee or a tea drinker. I figure if you're not one you should be the other, right? Not so my friends. This idealistic desire hasn't really worked out well for me. I've discovered so far that I really only like English Breakfast tea and the way my family makes it, it might as well be a dessert. Yum. :) Also on my list of discoveries is that I really hate coffee in every form it comes in except for the smell, which I actually enjoy very much.
I was able to drink copious amounts of this English Breakfast tea without sugar because I've been sick for two weeks. TWO WEEKS! Seriously why is it possible to be sick for that long? Why, why, why? And why does it seem that we get sick when it's most inconvenient to get sick? I have so many things to do! I have a life to live and people to see and things to accomplish and a reputation to uphold! I don't want to let people down! I don't want to cancel things! I want to pretend like I'm not sick! (Which in the end makes me more sick.)
This is where God's sovereignty collides with my feeble, self-centered, prideful mind.
Sometimes God uses crappy situations amidst seemingly poorly chosen timing to teach us things. For example, sickness reminds me that I'm human, that this world isn't perfect, that I'm needy and that I simply cannot do everything on my own. Throw in the mix the "bad timing" and you emerge with reminders that you really, really aren't in charge and that your own idea of perfect timing certainly is not perfect; that His plan is much bigger than my plan and that everything is intended for my sanctification and His glory.
I've learned that one of my greatest weaknesses is striving to please people over pleasing my Heavenly Father. This can look like me agreeing with someone because it's easier, or working my butt off for the praise of man...etc. I love to look good in other people's eyes. A lot of my worry I think at the heart is centered around this. What if they get mad at me? What if they don't think I did a good job? (Please don't think I do this ALL the time though. I do like working for God's glory and for the gratification of a job well done...uh, there I go again, making sure you think well of me.)
I was reminded on Sunday during my pastor's sermon when he mentioned the story about Jesus and Mary and Martha. Luke 10:38-42 says, "Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Ouch. When did I become a Martha? I haven't always been this way... and notice it says Martha was serving. Serving's not a bad thing...but she was distracted with serving when she had the living Lord right in front of her. She probably desired praise from working so hard when instead Christ just wanted her to sit with Him. Be with Him. Dwell with Him. Listen to and obey Him. "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary..." Now serving certainly is necessary. It's biblical. My friend mentioned today that we must be a mix of both Mary and Martha. I think within the context of the story the problem is that Jesus was physically in her house and she was roaming around cleaning and cooking instead of being with him. Also, the point that pricks my heart is that she was anxious and troubled while doing these things.
My service to the Lord must be done as an outpouring of love to Him and that comes about by first being with Him. So as I DO things in His name, I must rely on His strength and expect that He will bring about His desired results, which aren't always the results I expect, but are the results best for my growth and for the glory of His kingdom.
This week I am working as an extra in a tv show being filmed here, working as a runner at a concert and working at my job and other things. As I do these things, and as you go about doing your daily tasks this week, I pray that you and I find our strength in Christ and that we do fulfill our busy schedules and do all those things we hear beckoning to us to get done, but I pray that you and I do the necessary thing first. And that after we've rested in that "necessary thing" it permeates all our tasks and remains in our hearts as we do them. Have a blessed week! :)
Actually I feel like I overstated doing, so I'm getting back on here to restate that our doing is motivated by our first being with Him. We are able to do only because He is. We are able to live and move and have our being because He's given us life. Physically and spiritually. So don't only be with Him in order to receive from Him the strength to do the tasks you yourself want to do...Be with Him in order to make His priorities your priorities. There, I think I'm satisfied.
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