A Struggle to be Thankful

Praise be to God, the Most High God who knows all things and has created all things. By Him and to Him and through Him are all things. He has answered prayer and given us both a great love for both Rebecca and Paul. Rebecca now kisses us goodnight on the cheek every night before bed. At the end of three months our relationship will be very strong.

That said, I'm struggling today. The tasks are now becoming more routine and they aren't as hard as they used to be (praise God!). God has made us quick to learn and we've done some things we never thought we'd be able to do. However, now that the tasks are a little easier, the schedule is still tiring and I'm failing at being thankful. 

I have this thing we often call cabin fever; in my family we say we're 'stir crazy'.. I hate being in one place for several days. When I'm out and about all day, every day of the week, (going back and forth between work and home, then back to church for events and such) it's nice to come home and stay home one day and not leave ALL day. But when I'm stuck at home for more than a day and a half (or less) I go crazy and get antsy. I want to be outside. I want to go...

We're not often out of the house much here, and when we are it's for a very short time. We've had three, one hour long outings so far. --And actually, I ought to be thankful for those quick opportunities to be out of the house, so, thank you Lord for giving me three undeserved opportunities to be outside--All three we were aiming for the local lake--Lac du Genval. On our  first 'adventures' we ended up going the opposite way we should've gone and ended up confused and irritated...but at least we were out. 

On our first intended lake outing, we went the exact opposite direction we needed to go and ended up in the next village over fairly close to another lake, but didn't have time to get all the way there and be back in time. We passed by a lovely soccer field, some lovely Belgian men and stopped to take a pic or two to show that we'd done something in Belgium. ;) Apart from the disappointment of not going where we'd intended we kept our spirits up and had a good time. At least we were in Belgium, right?

We made it to a soccer field! Yay!

On our seconded outing destined for the lake we found our way to the town center, found a map, picked a street and ended up going 30 minutes the wrong way...again. Then it started raining. And we kept walking. And looking. We'd packed our lunches so that we could be picturesque by the lake: cute Americans trying to disguise that fact that we were foreigners, blend in, look pretty of course, maybe meet some people (when at which point we could of course no longer disguise our non-Belgian-ness) and just have a lovely time. But...we didn't. We'd gone the wrong way and were wandering in the rain, both of us being lightly soaked as neither of us had an umbrella or were smart enough for some reason to put on our jackets when it first started raining.

Wet hair. Not happy.

At this point we were both very grumbly, cranky, and mean  to each other. Finally, I began praying out loud just as I was...grumbly and irritated and...wet. I began acknowledging that though our plan had been to get to the lake, it wasn't our Father's. We asked Him to lead our steps. We thanked God that He knew our way and was in control of the situation. By the time we'd gotten back to the map we had just enough time to get back to the house. But we'd decided to make the way back home kinda fun so we took notice of the architecture around us and took a few pics.
(You can see more pics on Katina's blog here.)

I liked this wall

Strollin the streets

Checking the map to see what we'd done wrong

We came back to the house kind of defeated, but glad we'd taken the opportunity to work at being thankful.

Today we went out again. We had less than an hour and we were determined that this was going to be the day that we made it to the lake. We did! But unfortunately the whole way there I was very ungrateful. I had planned on more time than we ended up having, but we did have to rush. I feel like every time we've been able to get out we've had to rush. I wanted to savor and enjoy, instead we're practically at a canter trying to reach our destination, see it, and go back. I saw everything with a veil of discontentment. The sky is grey. It's not that pretty. We have to hurry. Can we slow down. Why do you (Katina) get to take pictures and slow down when you want and I just have to hurry to keep up with you...Oh, that's the chateau? Huh. (I bet it's more exciting to go inside and is probably prettier in the spring.) Let's go a little further, oh no, we can't we have to turn around to make it back in time. Ugh. Discontentment is so exhausting. (And so is idealism... :/ )

But so is working at being thankful. That means taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Every. Thought. Examining every motive. Examining every thought. The past two days I've been writing down verses in the Bible that have to do with thankfulness. I get so frustrated because I feel like it's not sinking in...not changing me immediately. ;) Why can't I read a verse and be automatically changed?! Ha. That's silly. Because it's a journey! A journey and a relationship with Christ, who does the work, who moves and changes my heart. Yes, submitting is hard. But it's His blood that makes a change in me even a possibility.

Here are a few of my favorites of the verses I gleaned on thankfulness:

Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, 

for His wondrous works to the children of man! 

For He satisfies the longing soul, 

and the hungry soul He fills with good things.

 Psalm 107:8-9

The Lord is good to all and His mercy is over all that He has made.

All your works shall give thanks to You, O LORD,

and all Your saints shall bless You!

Psalm 145:9-10

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord,

knowing that in the Lord,  your labor is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:57-58

And as I was looking through these and more I spotted a few on weakness/strength and works:

I will praise the name of God with a song;

I will magnify Him with thanksgiving.

This will please Him more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.

Psalm 69:30-31

...His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His pleasure in the legs of a man,

but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him,

in those who hope in His steadfast love.

Psalm 147:10-11

Would you pray for me that I would work by Christ's strength to be more thankful? That even when I am not able to do the things that God has recently revealed to me I see as rights (exercising daily, having time by myself [I tell you what, I often feel like a new mother having to adjust to giving her time solely to others], having freedom to get out of the house, finishing whatever I'm doing at the time, having my own room, etc.) and I feel a little crazy when I don't have them, pray that I would have contentment, and I would have joy and that I would mentally think through whatever I'm feeling, pinpoint my sinful thoughts and submit them under Christ's Lordship.

This week will be our first week with a day off. I'm taking Thursday and Sister's taking Friday. We'll be roaming the city by ourselves, I guess. It may feel  lonely or it may be exactly what we need. (Time alone for a long while sounds really nice right now.) ;)

Until later, love you all. Thanks for keeping up with us. Let us know how you're doing!

Kayla